Fall into Life

     The leaves are turning, the mornings are becoming crispy cool, and soon the smell of wood smoke will riddle the air. While you might bemoan your last fleeting glimpses of Summer, ask yourself this question- What exciting things did you do with the past three months? Did you check something off your bucket list? Take that vacation you’ve been promising yourself?

I think you know where I’m headed with this. There are absolutely those out there who make a bucket list and actually live in the moment, checking one or two things off their list. But there are those who make a bucket list, dream about the things on there. and never quite manage to check anything off. 

 I know, I know…Life has a way of getting in the way of living your life. Believe me, I get it. Prime example, several years ago, my sister and I made a pact to try one new thing every Summer and we had a list of things we wanted to try. Every Summer we were just too busy. Work, the kids, ect… Oh we had all the good excuses. But last year I took the first step towards breaking that habit and you can too!

Be an active participant, not an observer of the seasons of your life. Life is meant to be experienced! So go out and experience it!

   I challenge you to make a bucket list for Autumn!

I know there are things you’ve probably meant to do every year. But hey, the leaves needed raking, the gutters needed cleaning, ohhh… the chores preparing for winter can be endless, especially if you live in a colder climate. Still, there has to be one weekend, one day, even a couple of hours to experience something new. Something celebrating the new season that’s upon us. 

Last week I made pumpkin streusel donuts for the first time (picture below) and I went to Salem and stayed in the haunted Hawthorn Hotel. Cross that one off my bucket list! (Upcoming blog post so be sure to stay tuned. Very Creepy!)

So Fall into your life! What are your plans for this particular season of your life? I would love to hear your ideas and experiences, either from this past Summer or how you celebrate this Fall, and they might just inspire someone else. Pictures would be even better!

 

 

 

It’s Okay to be Selfish

It is important to be selfish at times – more often than just “once in a while.”  Kids seem to know when they want need that one-on-one time with their beloved teddy bear and not share. Why do we adults deny ourselves these same basic need?

In our quest to “have it all” we sometimes lose the fun and joy of the journey.  Soon the definition of “all” warps and we find ourselves wishing for the world to stop spinning so fast so we can just have a few moments of quiet time.

Sound familiar?

This is a big reason Tricia and I took a brief hiatus from this blog over the summer.  We needed to step back, regroup, and yes, be SELFISH for a bit. Our selfishness was focused. We both worked out what we want in this “second half of our century” on this Earth and how we want to find it.

Selfishness to us means self-care, self-appreciation, and self-nurturing. We are done being the proverbial “tail that wags the dog!” We both made fundamental changes in our day-to-day schedules and made room for what brings us joy.  The result?

We’ve come back stronger, sharper and – most importantly – SATISFIED with our path.

We actually get more things done, have extra time left over for those we love AND – the best part, we’re much happier at the end of each day.

Here’s a little insight into the “how” of it:

• Figure out what you MISS (WANT) THE MOST:  What do you long for?  Most of us will say “more time” but we all know time is finite and fleeting. (Too bad we can’t borrow Captain Jack Sparrow’s compass, that would make this part much easier!) Think about WHY you miss/want whatever it is and how you’ll feel once you have it.  There you will find your Primary Goal.
• Delegate, streamline, or bundle everything else and LET IT GO:  The biting reality is that we cannot be everywhere and do everything. It is important to let others help and accept less than perfect. The quest for perfection is not as admirable as we like to imagine it is – it’s one of the biggest culprits that keeps us from what we want the most.

The concept may be simple, but it’s not that easy to do. It takes time, practice and dedication to make it happen.  A little something each and every day toward the Primary Goal and do your best to let the rest go.  After a short while, that other “stuff” will start to fade into the background.

Most important, let yourself ENJOY being selfish.  It’s these moments that count the most.

 

Know When To Run

We are always on the run.  Whether running TO or running FROM, we are always in motion without much thought.

Knowing which direction to run is the trick.

The hectic pace that is our lives can cloud our vision of what’s important and it’s important to adjust accordingly.  And, it’s also imperative that you get out of your own way.

Figuring out what to do and when to do it can be tough.  Even then it’s easy to get caught up. For example, ever find yourself with a daily task that should only take a minute, but end up overtaking a day?  Or, how about the crazy maker(s) in your life who deliver non-stop drama every where they go?

We all do.  You choose how you spend your energy.  Just like your bank account, you have only so much cash.   You have only so much energy.  Spend your energy on what matters most to you.  Then, what’s left can be spent on all that other “stuff.”

Choose wisely.  Make yourself the priority and run toward your dreams and goals.  Just like our Throwdown Challenges elsewhere on this blog site – I challenge you.  Run away from the garbage that stands between you and what you want!

Getting the hell out of your own way!

This isn’t the first blog and I doubt it will be the last one on this topic, but somethings are worth repeating.

I would hazard a guess that some people don’t even realize they are their own worst enemy. Life can be hard. Chasing a dream can be hard. What makes it harder is when we sabotage ourselves. It doesn’t matter what it is…Could be anything, a new job, a new relationship, a new you. Whatever that IT thing is, it deserves your best efforts.

Just how would you be sabotaging yourself? You might be asking yourself that very question right now. Let me assure you there are so many ways of doing this that I could not begin to list them all. But here are just a few…

1. Procrastinating – If you find yourself spending more time talking and dreaming about it then actually doing it, this might be SABOTAGE.
2. Excuses – If you find yourself doing a multitude of other things rather than the thing that helps propel you towards your goal or dream, this could be SABOTAGE.
3. Waiting for the perfect moment – If you find yourself waiting for the perfect moment to charge ahead on whatever that is just beyond your reach, there is the possibility this is SABOTAGE.

Now, for the heavy part. Why do we do this to ourselves? Again the list is endless. But here are several that pop to mind.

1. Maybe insecurity is holding you back?
2. Fear of failure. Fear of success? Both of these can be equally frightening depending upon the person.
3. Fear of change. Ironically, there are hundreds of people out there who dream about what they want to achieve, but the fear of the changes that could make to their lives could be overwhelming.

There are hundreds of reasons and ways we hold ourselves back. These are just a few. Look inside yourself. Do you know why you aren’t actively chasing your dreams?

Ok, so I can’t just throw this out there and not try to at least give you a few solutions, right? Not that I have all the answers, believe you me! But you might try one of these.

1. Come up with a game plan, one with steps and smaller goals to be reached along the way. Reward yourself when you achieve the smaller goals.
2. Find a support group that focuses on something to do with your dream. It can be a class, an online group, or one that is more formal. Whatever it is, I’m sure there is something out there you can get involved with. For me it was Romance Writers of America, and then joining a small group of writers call the Mag 7 (Magnificent 7) yes that is what we call ourselves!
3. Every day, big or small, do one thing to further your goals!

 

I’m sure y’all have some ideas on this as well. Would love to hear some! But I will leave you with this last thing. You only have one life! Do you want to live it to the fullest, or hide away in fear? Push past the excuses. Move beyond the fear. And go for it, because no one can live your life but you!

 

 

 

 

 

Time to put some sass in our step…

Sorry for the absence but we’re back with a new look and a new attitude! We’ve busted out of our comfort zones and put on our Sassy boots and we both have our eye on these babies!

Way cute huh?

 Of course we’ll still be posting on busting out of our comfort zones because boy do we have some of those coming up in the next year, but Lora and I have decided to broaden our posts to include other things as well, so stay tuned. (Hint-maybe an exciting bit of news!) I think we made mention in our very first blog post that we both have a bit of ADD… or maybe more than a bit depending on the day.

Anyway we were both looking for a picture to add to this post and of course we couldn’t make up our minds. In the end, I found one for Lora and she found one for me. I am pretty sure we have the other’s personality pegged here.                                    

This is mine. Lora knows me so well!

 This is Lora for sure!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                  

This was just a short little post to let you know we’re back. Though I can’t leave without reminding you to follow your dreams, hopefully at a run! But a steady walk will do the job. Just don’t let insecurity or anything stand in your way!

 

Detours and (re)Construction

We live where the winters are hard and the snow piles high. Seasons are great when there are more than two.  Who doesn’t love spring, fall and a bit of summer fun?  But, we seem to only get Winter and Construction season.

Construction season started pretty early this year for us. Unexpected. Unplanned. Unwelcome.

More than our fair share of detours and closed roads have kept us off schedule. Then once we were able to come back, we decided we needed a remake. Unfortunately, we weren’t well equipped or prepared to maintain Blog Traffic during the redesign and rebuild. So, we kind of just disappeared. Our bad. 😦

In these last few weeks, we’ve rededicated ourselves to our basic mission: LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST

Gotta love Hemingway, the man knew what it was all about.

We will be back very soon with more features, more focus and lots more adventures to share. We hope you’ll stay tuned. See you soon!

Lora Bailey & Tricia Tyler

Going to the source.

In a blog post I did a couple weeks ago-Romancing the Research, I told y’all that I was going to find ways to make my research more interesting, and encouraged you to do the same. Part of my research involved psychic gifts for the series I am working on and I also promised I would be back to report on my experience. Yes, I’m a little late in doing so, but ironically enough I had to do some research beforehand.

So let me just start by saying that meeting a psychic in person was way more fun than trolling through the internet and it believe it was a lot more helpful as well.

I am not going to share all the details, but I got more than just questions answered. I got a psychic reading too. Yikes! She was so accurate and while it was a wee bit uncomfortable, it was well worth it. The first thing she did was draw a picture with an ostrich burying its head in the sand connected to the day job. So very accurate…WOW! Actually she had a lot to say about my day job and I knew she was hitting the nail on the head, but in the end I had to stop her. Bad enough I have to keep the job for now, I did not need any more reinforcement about stuff I already knew. She had quite a lot to say about other things as well, including my writing career. That I will keep to myself however as I don’t want to jinx it.

As far as the research end of it, I really did gain a better understanding then I would have reading and doing the general research; both of which I have already done. This was way more intriguing and gave me some really fantastic ideas to implement in my next book.

I can’t recommend enough doing hands on research. Not only will you gain knowledge, but you will likely inspire new ideas. And if that isn’t enough, I am pretty sure it’s tax deductible! So if you’ve tried it I’d love to hear about your experience. If you haven’t, what’s stopping you?

 

 

 

It’s Not The End Of The World!

Play it safe. Stay in your lane. Keep doing what works.

If I think about how I’ve come to live my life, it’s very safe and comfortable. And, it works, most of the time.

Holding on in the back of mind are the goals I set long ago. Still unreached. Still there. Some are now just a whisper. Others perished over time. Those that remain viable are starting to scream for attention.

But, I still play it safe. I let the daily business of doing what works keep me from moving out of chosen lane of travel into unfamiliar territory.

Why? Because it’s scary!

So, what’s there to be afraid of?  The F word.

Failure

Will the world end if I try something new and it doesn’t work? No.

But, others will see.  Others will know.  I failed.  I will be embarrassed.

Whether real or imagined, failure brings a measure of shame to many people. They stay safe and say “I could have been….” rather than risk having tried and bombed.

We push the kids to try. They fall down or miss the goal at the game, we coach them to get back up and try again.

When did we stop saying the same to ourselves? Why is it now such a risk to try something new?

Is it because we might have to admit that our daily lives aren’t as picture perfect as our social media profiles portray?

I believe that in order to really get out of our comfort zone, we have to be willing to risk failure and trust that it’s NOT the end of the world.

So what if your first soufflé falls?  Who cares if your painting doesn’t resemble a bowl of fruit? What different does it make if finish last in the 5K?

The point is you tried. You did something that wasn’t a sure win. You met a challenge and lived to tell the tale.

The world is not going to end simply because you traveled outside of your designated lane. How else can you get to somewhere new?

Sometimes a new road is rocky.  It can be full of potholes and even some dead ends.

Let yourself be uncomfortable. Maybe even get lost once in a while. The promise is an adventure. And who knows where these new roads may lead!

Maybe I’ll crash and burn at something new. But odds are in my favor that I’ll succeed at least some of the time.  I’m ready to add some risk – who’s with me?

Let’s get Out Of Our Comfort Zone!

When opportunity knocks

If you’re a writer and opportunity knocked at your door, would you answer it?

I’m sure you’re sitting there thinking…well that’s a stupid question. “Of course I would!”

But let me tell you that is not always the case. You can dream about it. You can spend hours dreaming up a plot and maybe even write it. But when push comes to shove, you have to ask yourself just how bad do I want this? Do I want it bad enough to get past the fear and answer the door when opportunity is knocking or even banging on the door? If your answer is still a resounding YES! Read on…

This is for the newbie romance author who has not heard of the call out, or wish lists yet. I was well into it before I learned about these. What is a call out or wish list? Well let me tell you it can be a wonderful tool to use on those rare instances when you find one available. Call outs, are when a publishing company puts out a call for a certain type of book, maybe even one like the one you are currently working on! A wish list is very similar. It is when an editor puts out a list of story types he/she would love to see land on their desk. These can sometimes be found on the publisher’s websites, or you can take to twitter or Facebook and follow your favs.

In any case, I have a couple for you today that will hopefully peak your interest.

Harlequin has put out a call for psychological suspense. It is only 1-3 chapters to give them a sample of your voice, but if you’re interested open that door quickly because the deadline is March 14^th.

http://www.soyouthinkyoucanwrite.com/2016/03/psychological-thriller-submission-call/

Or if Harlequin Desire is more your pace, there is a call out for proposals right now for that line until March 31st with guaranteed feedback by April 30^th. Can’t get any sweeter then that!

http://www.soyouthinkyoucanwrite.com/events/

Entangled publishing has also put out a call for Holiday stories and has recently put up a wish list from their editors. There is a good variety of lines and themes listed by various editors. So why not jump on over and check it out and see if the story you are writing is on someone’s wish list?

http://www.entangledinromance.com/category/call-for-submissions/

 

So…Are any of you going to open the door? Opportunity’s knocking!

Romancing the Research- Are you up for a challenge?

It doesn’t matter what genre’ you write in, chances are some type of research will be necessary. Well, unless you’re one of those blessed writers who write what they know. If that’s you, this blog post is not for you. If not, read on.

Some books definitely lend themselves to more research then others. Like the historical genre’…oh boy, talk about your research. Of course, if you’re writing in the historical genre’ you probably love history or you wouldn’t be writing about it. After all, writers in general are drawn to write about what they find interesting or fascinating.

So research should be fun, right?  Wrong, or at least not always…

Depending on your personality, you may either be a huge fan of research, or if you’re anything like me, not so much. Not that I don’t write about things that interest me, I just find it difficult to take time away from writing to plunge into research. I liken research on the internet to falling down the rabbit hole. Once you’re sucked in, you can be lost for hours before finding your way out again.

So this week I challenge you to plunge into your research in a fun way. If you have to research, why not make it an adventure? Now if you happen to be writing a book that involves a scene where say…your characters are white water rafting or zip-lining, you have a readymade adventure waiting for you. What better way to do the research you need to make the scene come alive then to experience it yourself. Let’s face it, not all of us can afford to travel to the place we have set our novel in order to do research. Heck, you’ve heard the phrase starving artist right? But that shouldn’t stop us from taking the hard, sometimes dull work of research and flipping it on its head and into a new experience and/or adventure.

The key is to think outside the box. Step outside your comfort zone and find a way to bring your research to life. Our characters have adventures so why shouldn’t we?

For those of you who read this blog regularly you know I write Romantic Suspense, and you also know my latest work in progress has a Psychic heroine. But what you may not know is that it is the first in a series, one involving a family of psychics. Most of my research so far has been done online or from reading books, and while it has been interesting, it has lacked the zing of reality. So…this weekend I am romancing the research and visiting a psychic. And yes, I am also getting a reading done!

I will be back this weekend blogging about my experience and all the hopefully not so gory details. I can’t wait!

So this is my challenge to you this week. I want you to come up with a way to turn your research into a new adventure or experience. I would absolutely love to hear the ideas you come up with and how they turn out. Go forth and bring on the fun…